Sex Work & Addictions: Sometimes Sex Workers are Drug Addicts. But Sometimes, They Are Not. And Sometimes, The Are Addicts in Recovery.
Some material posted could be triggering.
This post is going to get quite personal. It is cathartic to write about my experiences in the past, but in a sense this post is meant to serve as the context for my whole damn blog. Sex work and addiction are not mutually exclusive.
I am sure you were able to deduce on your own that I am a sex worker. In my current incarnation, I am likely not what you think of when you hear the term “sex worker”. Today I am a Professional Dominatrix, although at one point I was an escort. Here is a little story on how I went from a drug-abusing escort to a drug-addicted hooker to a clean and sober Domme.
Not too long ago, I was a “poly-substance abuser”. Opiates were my drug of choice, but anyway I could I get high, I did. I started my work as a “decent” escort to supplement my income to buy painkillers. My personal sob story is similar to many addicts. I was in a car accident, developed chronic pain, was prescribed narcotics, started to abuse them, yadda, yadda, yadda. But when shit got real, it got real. Really quick and fast.
My slippery slope from pill popper to full out junkie seemingly happened overnight. It was a perfect mixture of being in a lot of physical pain, emotional pain, and meeting the wrong group of people. It is not that I was ever an angel, far from it. I partied, and I could party hard. But this group of people I fell in with happened to be dangerous people to be around. And listen, I am not talking I was some 15-year-old impressionable teenager. I was in my early 30’s. Some of the people were older, some were younger. Either way, the fact remained that I met a whole lot of connections to a whole lot of drugs when I needed it the least (or most.)
While I was in the throws of active addiction, I devalued myself to the point where I put no value on myself at all. Previously, I would only see one man a day, no more than three a week, mostly regulars, and just enough to supplement my income for my pills. But when it snowballed out of control, I could no longer hold down a regular job, nor did I have a stable home. I started seeing up to five or six men a day. Sometimes, I would see men back to back. I had gone from casual part-time escort to being a downright hooker. All to support this new nasty heroin habit I had picked up.
Yes, I did some unconscionable things. Nothing too depraved but also nothing I would care to admit aloud, purely out of embarrassment. Kind of like a blackout drunk night out with friends. You know that feeling. You sort of have flashbacks, but you push it out of your head. And you certainly do not discuss it with anyone the next day.
I got clean and sober two years ago and I would like to say I had an epiphany, a spiritual awakening, or purely pulled my head out of my ass for more than minute to realize the damage I was doing to myself and to my friends and family. I had pushed every single one of them away and made the conscious decision to surround myself with users who were a combination of lost souls and the soulless. No, I got clean because I was found on the side of the road, close to death from an overdose. I will keep this part brief, as it is a time in my life I do not like to dwell on. But I will say a lucky set of circumstances gave me a second chance at life. And I grabbed it by the balls and have not looked back.
I took quite a bit of time off to work on myself and on my sobriety. But when I was ready to re-enter the workforce again, I knew exactly what I was going to do. I went straight back into sex work and managed to clean and sober. I love my job and I do not need to get high to do it. There is no reason for me to be in the sex industry other than the fact that I like and enjoy my job.
There ya have it. Some sex workers are drug addicts. Some are not. And some used to be drug addicts but are now in full recovery.
Peace, Love, & a Hard Cock